I Vow To Insult The Internet & Everyone On It

The Hichhikers Guide To The Galaxy novels by the late Douglas Adams had a character called Bowerick Wowbagger, the Infinitley Prolonged. It occurred to me some people appear to be modelling their online lives around Wowbagger.

Wowbagger wasn't born immortal, he became immortal in an accident. As such he resents everyone who can die as he has to continue living. To pass the time he dedicated his life to insulting the universe, and everyone in it, not only that, but he'd do it in alphabetical order.

When you see people who spend their entire online lives going from forum to forum, blog post to blog post, Facebook page to Facebook page, and all they ever seem to do is insult people, you have to wonder if they've been inspired by an LSD trip where Bowerick Wowbagger turned up to class to insult one of them during careers day at school, and decided to stay and give an impromptu presentation which inspired them.

I kinda visualise an LSD inspired group of people in a classroom standing to attention to salute Wowbagger in a cheesy "inspired students / teacher" movie cliché where they all dedicate their online lives to insulting the internet and everyone on it; although not in alphabetical order since that'd require knowing the aforementioned alphabet well enough to use it as a sorting mechanism.

I could imagine a rather confused Wowbagger heading back to his ship wondering why this planet wasn't labelled as an insane asylum on his readouts, and vowing to make extra special insults for those involved in making it when he got round to them on his list.

I guess there is a career path for those inspired students who dedicate their lives to this cause; it's called the Tea Party.